Some quotes and proverbs about statistics.

Normal distribution By Open Knowledge

92.3 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Accidents will happen.

Good to know that when I die everybody’s IQ will go up.


Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Dave Barry

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

The Fellowship of the Ring
J.R.R. Tolkien

I would rather have an average weight or an average income than an average intelligence.


If your experiment needs a statistician, you need a better experiment.

Ernest Rutherford

Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!

George Carlin

Nine out of ten women love chocolate. The tenth is lying.

Only in Britain could it be thought a defect to be ‘too clever by half.’ The probability is that too many people are too stupid by three-quarters.

John Major

Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate.

Sandra Boynton

Smoking is one of the leading causes of all statistics.

Liza Minnelli

Statistics is the art of lying by means of figures.

Wilhelm Stekel

Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

Evan Esar

The average human has one breast and one testicle.

Des McHale

The only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity.


Then there is the man who drowned crossing a stream with an average depth of six inches.

W.I.E. Gates

There are three types of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics.

Two wrongs don’t make a right.

It is wrong to harm someone because they have harmed you.