Dave Barry is an American humorist, author and columnist, born in 1947. From 1983 to 2005 he wrote a humor column for the Miami Herald. He also wrote several books of humor and comic novels.
This is a collection of quotes by Dave Barry.
Adapted from photo by Amazur [CC BY-SA 3.0], from Wikimedia Commons
Showing results 26 to 45 of 45
Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.Dave Barry
Scientists tell us that the fastest animal in the world, with a speed of 120 mph, is a cow dropped out of a helicopter.Dave Barry
That's not a trash bag -- it's art!Dave Barry
The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.Dave Barry
The English language is a rich verbal tapestry woven together from the tongues of the Greeks, the Latins, the Angles, the Klaxtons, the Celtics, and many more other ancient peoples, all of whom had severe drinking problems.Dave Barry
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.Dave Barry
The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.Dave Barry
The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.Dave Barry
The thing about religion is that everybody else's always appears stupid.Dave Barry
The word "user" is the word used by the computer professional when they mean "idiot".Dave Barry
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".Dave Barry
We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth.Dave Barry
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.Dave Barry
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.Dave Barry
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.Dave Barry
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.Dave Barry
You can say any fool thing to a dog and the dog will just give you this look that says, "My GOSH, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!"Dave Barry
You should not confuse your career with your life.Dave Barry
Your friends love you anyway.Dave Barry
Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.Dave Barry
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